Michael accused me of using a nuclear approach of addressing issues on my mind in my last post. So, I’m going to attempt to address at least one of those topics in a little more depth.
Feminism. For a long time I didn’t self-identify as a feminist. Not to say that I was anti-feminist. I just didn’t feel too connected to the image I had of feminists. I expected equal treatment for myself and other women, but somehow the label didn’t seem to fit me.
It still makes me mad when I think about my college professor who told me that being a woman was all I had going for me and my chances of getting into vet school. The issues of children, and how many, and stay at home motherhood, or not have been ones that I’ve defended either choice—as just that, a choice, and a personal one at that. And there are some issues that I just can’t seem to get worked up about (this just doesn’t induce “seething rage” in me).
So anyway. My recent musings on feminism have stemmed from reading a few feminist themed books. I think it sort of startled me when I realized that that was indeed what these books were, and so I began to reassess my self-identification. And what I’ve come up with is that yes, I’m a feminist, in this sense of feminism.
And related to Pooka’s comment, the part of one of these books that I disliked most was the part where the authors were indicating that being in relationships with men was a hindrance to feminine spiritual enlightenment.
It kind of reminds me of an experience I had a few months ago. I was at church working in the library, and someone asked me where I work. I told him and his response was, “Oh, you're one of those environmentalists…” And quickly I said, “No, I’m biomedical researcher.” I thought about that afterward—I don’t hate the environment. I like trees. I like animals. And yet I was very quick to not be categorized as “one of those environmentalists.”
9 comments:
Many people worry about the media, culture, etc. focusing on external forces. But the source of greatest strength is the power and the potential we have within each of us.
You did not skewer your pig-headed professor with a wooden stake, rather you impaled his ill-conceived theories and advice by veritably personifying academic success. You got into a "good" vet school (Hey prof, ever hear of Cornell?), got them to defer for a year (until you figured out what you really wanted to do), got into Mayo, and successfully completed your PHd there.
Which part of that is gender quota / remarkable luck / racial bias? As opposed to your proven record of academic success, dedication, and sheer hard work?
I am proud of you for your work and your successes! I am glad that you decided to tackle a challenge, and that you did it!
I am also proud of Mom, and everything she has done and still does - I think she truly "has it all."
I am very proud of Shana, because the has the toughest job in the world. For the work that I do, people (pay me &) recognize my work, efforts, and results. For Shana, the kids and I are not so genereous with our thanks and praise for all the hard work she does. (Even though I like the song by that title) There is no such thing as "Just a Housewife."
The definition found on Tomato Nation is the reason I have thought of myself as a feminist for several years. But I certainly don't seethe with rage over cartoon equality. I don't think anger helps the feminist cause in any case. Come to think of it, does anger help any cause? Except Satan's?
I hate the word "feminist" because I have a lot of negative associations with it. Well, maybe not a lot, but some. First of all, the bits and pieces of radio shows, editorials, etc. I've seen on the topic make it seem like it's an adversarial thing. Seems almost as if you've got to be a demonstrator, protestor, or bra-burner to be included, and I think men who support the cause are only welcomed reluctantly if at all.
The most annoying thing to me is a med school classmate of mine who sort of made "feminist" her primary identity. One day I casually used the word "chick" in what I thought was a non-sexual, non-derogatory, non-offensive way (much like I would say "dude"). Rather than saying, "I consider any use of that word to be inappropriate when referring to women," she flew off the handle calling me a sexist and chauvinist in a public place with peers around. I was completely humiliated. I didn't know whether to blather my apologies or just be indignant that she was so eager to be offended when anyone who knows me should know I intended no such insult. Anyway, SHE is what I think of when I think feminist, and I have less than the best feelings for her even now (lamentably).
Women are paid less than men as CEO's, doctors, and probably many other professions, and that's just wrong. But things are getting better, probably in part because of the efforts of those who bring uncomfortable attention to folks who say sexist things, even unintentionally. University of Iowa was the first school to admit women on an equal basis with men, and so it's perhaps appropriate that I had some experience there on the topic.
I love my Boss and she helps me see things from a better perspective all the time, but without making me feel like a worm. I'm very grateful for her choices, and I think she's the perfect example of a fully liberated female (but I like her too much to use the word feminist, although she would probably use it herself!).
Thanks for your thoughts, Mark. And Ree, I agree completely.
Also, Coach, thanks for your toughts. :)
I like your post, Sonnet. This has been a topic that I haven't really thought about until a couple of months ago, when I blogged about The Mommy Wars thing. Here's my thought: we unfortunately live in a world in which people are judgmental. Society doesn't seem to allow people to make whatever choices they may, and then allow those people to be happy about whatever choices they've made. I identify with your not wanting to be labeled, "One of those environmentalists." I often don't want to be labeled as "just a housewife" (but thanks for clearing that one up, Mark. I wish everyone shared your opinion.). Life is all about choices. I'm happy with the choices I've made, to get an education, and to stay home with my kids ANYWAY. I've faced a good bit of criticism for "wasting all that education." I don't know if I'm a feminist. I believe in equal pay for equal work, equal opportunities regardless of gender, race, religion, and those things. But I don't get riled up about cartoons and stuff (if I were, it would be about the lack of African American characters in Disney films or something like that! But to be honest, I just don't have too much time to think about cartoons.). And I certainly wouldn't yell at someone in public for saying the word "chick." But I do feel liberated, free to make choices, free to be happy about them. It just goes back to society (in general) being judgmental. That's only my opinion.
I am often regretful when reading the scriptures that we don't have many stories there about women. The Bible has a mildly-respectful set of heroines, but the Book of Mormon mentions only four (#?) women by name. I can hardly wait to have the honkin'-huge Heavenly Home, Family and Personal Enrichment Meeting where we all get to hear about the women who struggled and suffered and grew and gained light right along with their brethren.
And I wonder how many of them would consider themselves heroines?
And I wonder what they would have to say about the different types of feminism?
"One of those" conversations from my past makes me cringe when I think of how unfeeling and clueless I must have seemed to someone I was truly not trying to offend. Before we were married, my hubby's roomate was a young black fellow. Hubby's brother- in -law who is a native Fijian came to visit and after b-i-l left the room, roomate said, "I didn't know C's b-i-l was black."
I said, "No, he's not."
"Yes, he is."
"No, He's Not!"
"YES, HE IS!"
"No, He's From Fiji!"
"SO!"
By then C and b-i-l were back in the room and our immature exchange was finished. We were arguing about what a label meant. I was going for the heritage meaning and he was going for the appearance meaning.
We were both right. My b-i-l is categorized by strangers as black and by aquaintances as a Pacific islander.
I mostly feel chagrined about arguing about something that was so central to hubby's roomate's identity. I was arguing for precision and I should have been more tactful and kind.
I guess I lived in a blissful ignorance for quite a while, and felt like I was a feminist for a long time before I ever knew to associate negative connotations with it. I always used the definition in Sonnet's 2nd link of a feminist. Then I got to know more women from feminist camps more like the 1st link. I guess I am not like most of them. Taking a women's studies class at BYU helped my perspective. I am very grateful for all the choices that feminist movers have made available to women. I still get annoyed at jokes about women and feel that they are definitely not harmless (and I might get mad if the wrong person calls me a chick). However, I have embraced a role in my life that many feminists would be horrified about, and I feel I have made the best choice. I love being a woman and the blessings of it all.
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